I'm trying to decide if I should weigh myself right now. I could use some motivation and seeing that I lost could be that push I need. I go through phases of weighing myself, from multiple times a day to completely staying away from the scale. The thing is, when I lose a few pounds it does feel good - at first, but no matter what number I see it's not the number I want (I guess I have a problem with setting mini goals). So then I get depressed, which usually leads to a binge, which completely defeats the purpose of weighing myself in the first place.



Basically, if I know I shouldn't do it then why do I still want to?

I was going to try the master cleanse again, but I literally cringe every time I think about drinking that disgusting "lemonade". I read online that when you are doing the lemonade diet you are basically taking in 650 calories a day. I know that some of the weight you lose on in is water weight from all the laxative tea and salt water flushes...so now I'm thinking I should just try limiting myself to 700 cals a day - mainly eating salads with chicken, egg whites, and apples. I suck at any attempt at dieting that try - and I kind of have tried this plan before...so I dont know why I think it will work this time. Maybe because I plan to check in here everyday with my progress Hopefully reporting to you will keep me in line. Hmmm...i guess we'll just see.



Today so far:
been depressed and in bed all day
drank diet soda
have no motivation to do anything else

Current Location: my bed
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Falling Down - Duran Duran

I calculated that in order to be at least presentable for my sorority trip coming up I need to be losing 6 pounds a week. Is this do-able? Does anyone have any plans they've done that has had them lose this much each week?

I'm tired.

tired of binging
tired of purging
tired of calculating calories in my head
tired of starving
tired of throwing up
tired of eating
tired of not eating
tired thinking about my next meal
tired of planning how to get out of a family dinner
tired looking in the mirror
tired of weighing myself
tired of crying when I weigh more than I thought
tired of drinking green tea
tired of taking pills
tired of reading Shape
tired of being jealous of the skinny girl on the treadnmill next to me

My ED started when I was 14 - I'm now 21 and I'm TIRED.